You might be an Alien fan if...

1. You consider begging for money from complete stranger so that you can buy the Alien soundtrack, widescreen, posters, etc.

2. The director's version comes on Pay-per-view and you don't have pay per view so you put you hands to the screen, and you can tell what is happening in the movie by the noise.

3. Your bedroom looks like a hive and you have flares lighting the way to your bedroom.

4. You considered changing your name to Ellen Ripley / Dwayne Hicks or other characters names..

5. You give your newborn kids the names of Alien characters.

6. All your pets have the names of the marines and you put battle gear on them.

7. Your car alarm screams, "Get away from her, you bitch!" when somebody gets near it.

8. Your alarm clock buzzes "Lets Rock!"

9. Your car looks like the APC.

10. Your refer to your car as the "Dropship."

11. You refer to your house as the "Nostromo."or "Sulaco"

12. You can watch the movie in a different language, and know what they are saying, and the only language you know is English/ French/ etc.

13. A foreign country uses you as a translator for the movie.

14. You think that your mother in law takes lesson on how to be a bitch from the queen.

15. You regularly dress like a marine from the movie and during Halloween you dress normal and people don't recognize you.

16. You don't have a normal bed, you sleep in a capsule like from the movie.

17. Your doorbell ring sounds like the gunfire from the movie.

18. Your and your family don't go on family outings, you go out to look for Aliens.

19. Your family threatens you with death if you mention the movie "Aliens" one more time.

20. You have every version there is of Alien, Aliens and Alien3.

21. You spend your life savings to buy a movie theater to play the Alien movies in the original format.

22. You have a second computer for all the Alien trilogy, movies, pictures, sound waves, etc...

23. You imitate Hudson by shouting "game over man" (even when not watching the movie) --or other quotes from Hudson, etc.

24. When you scream, "Let's Rock," over and over again.

25. When every time you go near a glass of milk you end up doing an impression of Ash or Bishop being ripped apart....

26. You have gone in dept buying the props from the movie.

27. Your refer to your job as the "company."

28. You have a power loader in your closet.

29. When you get an ALIEN tattoo to cover your entire body.

30. When you get into an elevator and yell "We're on an all express elevator to hell, going down!"

31. When Your family puts the VCR above your reach so that you can't play the movie.

32. When your family hides your Alien Movie Set.

33. When you know who the First Assistant Director is for Alien (Paul Ibbelson)

34. When you know who the Second Assistant Director is for Aliens (Melvin Lind)

35. When you say "I may be synthetic, but I'm not stupid" over and over again.

36. You have sentry guns place along the outside of your house.

37. You play the Alien Doom over and over again.

38. Your dog starts getting sick, you whip out all the necessary material to kill an Aliens or your dogs seems real tired, you're quite sure there's an embryo grown inside him.

39. Whenever you watch the scene in Aliens where Ripley dreams that a chestburster is about to pop out her, and can't resist saying, "Damn Tacos..."

40. Your cat's name is Jones.

41. You arm all your children with the Emergency locators.

42. A motion tracker is among your worldly possessions.

43. You keep confusing those damn Olsen twins with Newt.

44. You use standard space marine body armor to play football.

45. You create a web site inspired by any of the characters or movies.

46. You spend most of your free time trying to perfect your technique when it comes to the knife trick that Bishop does...that is, if you still have any fingers left.

47. You've shaved your head, adopted a post-apocalyptic religion and just waiting for the EEV to drop from the sky.

48. You tirelessly repeat I-Have-something-in-my-chest-routine at every meal.

49. You stalk the video store manager because you think he's hiding a SE of Aliens.

50. You walk around the house with a vacuum cleaner or some other large hand held appliance, pretending its a smart gun.

51. You complain about cornbread constantly.

52. Whenever you're in a restaurant and have indigestion you scream, "Please k-kill me!!!!" to the waiter, start having convulsions, fake an Aliens birth on the table next to you, but when the joke is over you find that your family has fled the area and won't answer you phone calls anymore.

53. While skinning chicken you are reminded of when Ash dissected the FaceHugger.

54. Your refer to you mom as the "Bitch"

55. You go to the movie rental place and see Aliens on laser-disk (directors cut), and you go out and bye a laser-disk player just to see it.

56. When you hid in the theater to see Alien a total of 15 times or more.

57. When you are going to Marines and you try to join the "colonial marines"

58. Every Morning You Say "Rise and Shine Marines Another Glorious day in the Corp."

59. You rehearse the lines form the movie.

60. Whenever your are around air conditioning ducts you crawls inside and yell "Which way to the landing field from here?"

61. You crawl in sewers looking for Aliens.

62. You consider learning a Foreign language so that you can watch it in other countries.

63. You Chase your family members around the house scream, "Die Suckers Die!"

64. Your Family Makes you a Cake in the Shape of an Alien for your birthday.

65. Your say they had better be playing the Alien movies in the afterlife or they can "count you out".

66. When you want to move to Hadley’s Hope.

67. You create a new religion devoted to worshiping Ridley Scott, James Cameron, etc.

68. You go absolutely manic when someone mentions that they haven't seen all the Alien movies.

69. You have 250 dollars worth of merchandise on special order from 5 different toy stores.

70. You are designing your own Aliens theme for Win95.

71. You feel like your getting a 'fix', when you get home from work, and see the Brandywine logo appear on the set.

72. You are debating whether or not to buy an M41A pulse rifle replica from ICON for $800.00, or building a fully-functioning one from scratch.

73. You've taken up electronics as a serious hobby, and spend hours at a time at radio shack, just so you can build a working replica of a motion tracker.

74. You wish the 'Trekkies', would just go away, because they just have EVERYTHING, and we've got so LITTLE.

75. You've sent personal email and snail mail to James Cameron to PLEEEAAASSEEE!! do another Aliens film, with Colonial Marines for a change.

76. You keep hoping against hope, that in the second film, maybe THIS time when you watch it, it will have a cooler ending, and Hudson, Apone, Vasquez, and Drake won't get killed off.

77. You absolutely find it horrifying, that that in Aliens 3, Hicks, Bishop and Newt die...

78. You go to comic book stores, book stores, and Sci-Fi conventions, and have a get-in, get the stuff, and get-OUT mentality.

79. Kenner, Galoob, and Toy's-R-Us, are showing signs of paying you money, just so you'll stop writing them.

80. When you finally found that Galoob M577 APC at Toy's-R-Us, and have no qualms whatsoever, about running over the little brat standing in your way.

81. You are seriously considering buying 3D Studio Max for 3000 dollars, and getting a dedicated graphics workstation, so you can push out some killer "Drop-ship" renderings.

82. The Aliens directory on your computer, consists of 1.2 Gig of files and sub-directories.

83. You're offering a $500.00 reward to any Duke Nukem map builders that come up with a cool Aliens Total conversion game replacement.

84. You're incentive to do well at work, and succeed in life, is primarily so that you can support your Aliens habit.

85. You've come up with realistic cost estimates for building a working APC.

86. Becoming a member of the Aliens ring, and having a good, accepted site, just gets you all choked up.

87. You've been trying to convince George Lucas to finance an "Aliens: Special Edition, re-release.

88. You bought, a DVD, Laserdisc, Soundtrack CD-ROM, and you don't even have any of the Audio/Video equipment necessary to use them yet.

89. You want the Sales manager at Best Buy, Inc., to put it in writing, that the 2,500 dollar Theaterview Digital television set will show the Aliens special edition, EXACTLY like it appeared in the film.

90. If while driving someone cuts you off but you just shrug it off and think either "he's just a grunt" or "dumb ass colonists"...

91. If you answer "17 days" to any question concerning time...

92. If you keep all of your valuables in a safe nicknamed "Bay 12"...

93. If you shout "Punch it Bishop!" whenever you ride in a car (someone else's or when driving own)...

94. If you constantly wonder at work about how you can "get out of this chicken-shit outfit"...

95. If people get near you and you always push them away and yell, "Get away from me man!"...

96. If someone does something impressive and you think "Not bad...for a human"...

97. If you wake up every night, sheets soaking, having just dreamt that Burke was actually a genuinely good guy...

98. If you lecture people (who will listen) about not keeping up with current events whenever your favorite team just got its ass kicked...

99. If you think that "a xenomorph may be involved" every time someone gets sick...

100. If your power goes out or any electronic device fails to work and you wonder "How could they cut the power man, they're animals!"...

101. If you mutter "Please.. kill me.." every time you meet someone new...

102. If you refuse to leave the house unless you've been briefed at Gateway...

103. If you constantly try to contact the MIR Space Station to tell them to fix their problem by "blowing it out of the g*ddamn airlock"...

104. If you taught your parrot how to make the sound of a motion detector and to use it when people get closer (in increasing tones, of course)...

105. If you use your own personal flame unit in order to kill household pests, claiming that "it's the only way to be sure"...

106. If when things don't go exactly as planned, you go pale and think, "They cut the power"...

107. If you arrogantly exclaim that you're "ready to get it on" and insist on slapping a high-five with your partner before sex...

108. If you chase family members around the house, shouting "Oh you want some of this?!? Fuck you!!!" more often than not...

109. If your partner asks you how many people you've slept with and you feel compelled to say, "38… simulated"...

110. If before certain bodily emissions you can't help but drone, "Warning: you now have 2 minutes to reach minimum safe distance" (or seconds?)...

111. If you built a full-scale model of a pulse rifle out of paper/cardboard and if you named it "Newt"...

112. You have state of the art security system protecting your Alien Tapes and other Alien Items.

113. You want your own pet facehugger.

114. Your chase down people in the mall when you hear the word Aliens come from their mouth..

115. When you know all the web address regarding Aliens and you don't even know your own birthday or home address.

116. When you have spent $3,000,000.00 on art supplies and classes so that you can draw an Alien.

117. When you refuse to watch "Mad About You" because Burke is in it.

118. You insist that Cameron and you get together to meet a far price for the droid that the deep space scavengers used so you to can properly scan ships while in the outer rim systems.

119. Before any activity you insist that your friends engage you in the marine power grip, tell you "your just too bad" and then you get to slap them.

120. While watching the Alien Trilogy movies there is an assortment of weapons handy, including the kitchen knife.

121. While looking at the new magazine about Aliens (the $10.00 one) you start to drool.

122. When you have pictures of the aliens in your wallet instead of family pictures.

123. When you spend thousands of dollars on making a special T-shirt for yourself.

124. When you know every part of an APC, but don't know the car type you are driving.

125. Your family has threaten to tie you up if you try to go see Alien 4 more than once.

126. You knock a little kid aside to get the Alien toys.

127. You have all the Alien Posters laminated.

128. While cleaning the vents at work you wonder if an Alien is going to pop out of the vent.

129. You become an actor because you want to try to be in an Aliens film

130. You got an aliens display thing buy bugging the guy in a music store and as a result get kicked out of music world for life

131. You pull Aliens ads out of magazines

132. You taped Alien4 ads of the TV.


Return to Black Vulture’s Alien Pages


These were taken from another web site and are not original with me.